Welcome back to all who eagerly awaited this blog’s resurrection! Mikhail finally returns to chasing sunsets and putting “pen” to “paper.” It’s hard to believe my last post was 4 years ago – a lot has happened since. We’ve survived numerous wars, TikTok trends, new AI overlords, and least of all, a global pandemic.
Who cares that this trip is 7 years old… the Muse arrives when she arrives. I hope you’re not feeling too much NPC energy and are (again) ready to get rizzed up by mediocre writing. I may not hallucinate like ChatGPT but can’t promise to pass the Turing test. Here we go again! Slay!
Where did we leave off?
After a packed few days in Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC) in March 2018 I was on my way to Hoi An.
Hoi An
Hoi An is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, as well as the banh mi and tailoring capital of Vietnam. Most people visit for the (1) well preserved colonial architecture, (2) delicious banh mi sandwiches, or (3) custom made clothes. In 2018 caring about clothes was antithetical to my identity as a dirty backpacker, so I went for (1) and (2).
Originally a fishing village, Hoi An grew in the 15th – 19th centuries as an international port on the maritime Silk Road, declining in the 1800s as nearby Da Nang became the main French colonial port. As a result, modernization and war mostly bypassed Hoi An, preserving its ancient architecture for our enjoyment today.
Day 1
After a morning flight to Da Nang and a 45-min, $10 Grab, it was game time by 2pm.
My hostel was bumping with all the necessities: helpful staff, lots of activity, and daily guided tours. They even had individual beds (not bunks — the usual dorm norm) and an in-room bathroom! How my standards have changed over the years… nowadays I’m a sleep diva who needs it perfectly dark and quiet.
My first stop was Banh Mi Phuong, the famous (and touristy) sandwich shop endorsed by the late Anthony Bourdain.
Next I Grabbed to the beach to beat the rain. My driver, a friendly 23-year old dad, wanted me to hire him to drive me around. He started off nice but turned pushy, trying to connect on WhatsApp and Facebook. It was too much too soon – at least buy me dinner first.
After curving my “suitor” it was time for the beach. I came ready to swim with my trunks and sunscreen on, but by now (4pm) it got chilly and the water felt freezing, at least compared to Thailand. Not wanting an ice bath I walked around and took photos, but unfamiliar with the skill of relaxing for longer than 5 minutes, I soon headed home.
Next I joined my hostel’s street food tour. The 20 person group was diverse, so it’s a shame I only took notes about the Americans… There was a guy from SD traveling for a year post-PhD, on his way to a UC Berkeley postdoc with the inventor of CRISPR. There was also an older lady from SF who had been an IBM lifer. What a random bunch!
Our first stop was a cafe with small plastic tables and chairs outside. I remember the dish being a delicious “wet rice cracker with crispy rice cracker,” dipped in soy/fish sauce. Next up was a food stand with a pretty average DIY pork spring roll. I skipped the lettuce to avoid food poisoning and for the life of me couldn’t figure out the wrapping, eating it like a (dirty) caveman. The final stop was Banh Mi Phuong’s original location, a food cart. The sandwich was as good as the one I had earlier.
Afterwards it was free beer and Jenga at the hostel; still hungry I instigated a food run with the Jenga crew. We tried both Banh Mi Phuongs but the touristy one was packed and the cart was closed. The night market was too crowded, so I ditched the chaos to get shrimp dumplings. Walking home I ran into some German guys I met last week at my Cambodia hostel. The SE Asia backpacker circuit was alive and well 😂
Day 2
Marble Mountains
The next day I had an early Marble Mountains tour. On the bus I met yet another person finding themselves – a guy from Boston who had quit his physician’s assistant job.
The Marble Mountains are a cluster of 5 hills containing caves and sanctuaries with Buddhist sculptures. The hills represent the 5 elements: metal, water, wood, fire, earth. The tour featured lots of stairs, scenic views, and intricate cave art.
First up was the Road to Paradise – a large cave complex representing the path to enlightenment.
After reaching Heaven we descended back down for an earthly noodle lunch.
After lunch it was time for Hell Cave, which ended up being one hell of a place 😈
Hell Cave is a spiritual space that represents the 9 floors of Buddhist Hell, depicting concepts showing what awaits those who lead sinful lives.
The sculptures were vivid and disturbing, complete with “mood” lighting. At times it was hard to take this over-the-top setup seriously, but perhaps that was the point.
At the end of our walk we reached an open-air elevated viewpoint, the “heaven” part of Hell Cave. This ascension toward light symbolized the soul’s potential for redemption.
Hell Cave was a highlight of my whole trip – a moving combination of spirituality and art. Spooky and a bit graphic, it could feasibly be an elaborate Halloween setup, though maybe too extreme for American tastes. Well worth a visit!
Bike Tour
Next up was Monkey Mountain, but I left early to make the hostel’s free bike tour.
The ride was sketch at first – biking without a helmet in chaotic Vietnamese traffic is not for the faint of heart. After some getting used to, however, it turned out manageable – the drivers seemed attentive and while intersections were tricky, the traffic followed a mostly sensible system. Heaven/Hell would have to wait just a bit longer 😉
Besides the cows and rice paddies, the tour highlight was a local noodle shop where we learned to make rice paper – the base for pho noodles.
After this lovely experience I walked to the night market for a fried banana pancake. Hungry for more I, once again, hit up my trusted Banh Mi Phuong and ate 2 sandwiches. I was a monster back then.
Satisfied, I hung out in the hostel’s common area. I wanted to play Jenga but the guys there were waiting for girls to join to play the drinking version. As often happens in life, no girls walked by, so no Jenga was played. Jenga-less I went to bed, disappointed with my new acquaintances’ one-track minds.
Day 3
Old Town Hoi An
The next day I packed, had breakfast, and explored the old town before heading out. I first tried the famous egg coffee, which ended up looking better than it tasted.
Fueled by coffee (and egg) I knocked out the main sights, starting with the Buddhist temple and Chinese Assembly Hall.
I then walked to the Japanese covered bridge, the hottest attraction in town. This bridge is featured on the 20,000 dong banknote (1 USD = ~26,000 dong).
Next I walked along the riverfront where an old lady told me she could take my picture. Instead I paid her to take one together.
Then I checked out of my hostel and ate, for the 4th time (!), at Banh Mi Phuong. I was their biggest fan! As you can tell, the food poisoning trauma was still fresh in my mind so I stuck to a reliable place.
Da Nang
I wanted to explore Da Nang for a few hours before heading to Hue.
My first stop was the Da Nang Marina. Between the couple taking their wedding photos and several “IG models” posing, this was definitely the local it spot.
I got lunch, FaceTimed my family, and walked around.
I walked to China Beach and saw a big white statue across the bay. This turned out to be on Monkey Mountain – the one I skipped on my Marble Mountains tour. I had 4 hours to kill, so to make up for yesterday’s delinquency I made it my mission to conquer it.
As my Grab reached the deserted summit and I started losing cell reception, I realized that I could get stuck here. Thinking on my feet, I convinced the driver (who barely spoke English) to wait and drive me back for cash.
He patiently waited and we headed back down. I must have been the most annoying passenger – every few minutes I asked to pull over for a scenic photo. To add insult to injury, I asked to stop at the white Buddha statue. I tried to be quick but had to catch the sunset, which took 30 minutes…
This guy was a saint; he handled all of my stops without a complaint and finally dropped me off at the train station. In the end he seemed slightly disappointed – I paid him a bit more than the ride up, but maybe not enough. I asked if it was OK and he said yes. Driver of the year!
I got a rice with chopped chicken (mostly bone) and boarded my train. Feeling bad for “wasting” the driver’s time, I called Grab to try to tip him, which sadly wasn’t possible.
And with that silliness, my time in Hoi An / Da Nang came to an end. Next stop, Hue!
Mikhail's Travel Adventures 